5 Steps to Mend Your Broken Heart

This article originally appeared on Yoganonymous.com.

Image via Vogue Russia

Breakups aren’t supposed to be easy, or peaceful, but they are supposed to help you grow.

The pain you feel from any breakup, serious or mild, is real—and you have to honor that pain and allow yourself to learn from it if you ever want to enter into a positive, new phase.

You will receive the love that you are open to receiving. So, it’s important to recognize the role you play in your relationships, and how you might be selling yourself short on what you need and what you desire. If you allow yourself to be your whole self, where you can give and receive in a beautifully balanced way, I guarantee you will find (or even stumble upon) the love and support you deserve.

However, in order to open up, you have to be willing to go deep into the dark mysteries of life with a willingness to find your answers in the darkest spaces of your soul. It’s going to be a challenge—you’ll be stripped out of your comfort zone, feeling like an emperor with no clothes.

But the great thing about having nothing, is that you can upgrade to anything.

Breakups point out the areas of your life that need improvement. They show you that what you thought was reliable was actually built upon crumbling sand. And, while they're hard, breakups can also show you that no matter what you're going through, your life still has the same potential for vibrancy.

Yes, you may feel like your whole life is crashing down like a tower in the game of Jenga, but choose to pause and take stock of what’s happening in your life.

What message is the world trying to send you via your failed relationship? Is it that you need to be more independent? Or that you need to be more vocal about your needs? Or maybe that you need to be more attentive and giving to your partner? The world might be trying to tell you a million different things, but if you are stuck in your pain, you will never hear the messages.

So here’s a ritual to release the stagnant pain, and open up to the universal flow of love (and I mean real love).

Ritual for Healing a Broken Heart

1. Grab your materials.

Grab a pen, paper, and maybe a few crystals to keep by your side as you prepare your mental, energetic, and physical bodies for some deep emotional detox.

Crystals that may support you: Clear Quartz, Rose Quartz, Lapis Lazuli.

2. Write a letter to the Universe. 

Take a deep breath and use this affirmation to open up your stream of thought: “I support my full self-expression by opening the door to my subconscious.” Then write until you just can’t write any more.

Having trouble getting pen to paper? Write the following: “I think I’m supposed to write about my breakup, and I think I’m supposed to say ______________.”

Fill in the blank with exactly what you are feeling. Let it flow out of you like a stream, and don’t worry about punctuation, grammar, or spelling—just write.

3. Express your gratitude. 

Once you’re finished with what you needed to release from your subconscious, take a minute to express your gratitude. Be thankful for what you’re experiencing, because although it’s hard, I guarantee you’re learning a lot about yourself, a lot about what you’re made of, and a lot about what you want in your future relationships.

Seal your letter to the universe by writing: “Thank you for helping me heal and grow from these experiences. I now take in the lessons learned, and release any negative energy from my life, never allowing it to return again.” This will only release what’s bad for you, and will create more room for your newfound strength and knowledge to grow.

Are you afraid to dispel the negative energy from your old relationship because you think you and your former partner will get back together? Well, don’t be afraid. This sentence won’t stop you from getting back together with your loved one, it will just help you release the unhealthy bits that drag you both down.

You need to honor where you are. And if you are going through a breakup, it means something is off-balance and needs adjusting. Let go of the negativity, and open up the space to be fully present and strong, right now.

4. Release the remnants. 

Don't delusionally hang on to old bits of your relationship. Instead, vow to let go fully and completely. It's time to turn the page. The greatness of what comes will be directly correlated with your willingness ot start fresh. If you've come this far in the ritual, it means you aren’t shoving your pain or realizations under the rug to be dealt with another day, you’re acknowledging your feelings and facing them right now—so finish strong! 

Ask yourself, is there anything else left to release? Visualize those ashes of pain falling into the words on your paper, as if they were drawn by magnets. Once again reaffirm your intention to emotionally detox by saying, “I fully release any negativity I have absorbed from outside sources.” Finish by folding up the paper and disposing of it in any way you see fit. 

You can burn it, throw it away, or send it down your toilet—just do anything that makes you feel like you’re fully letting go.

5. Bring back the good juju.

Take a deep breath—call back any positivity you have lost in the emotional turmoil of your breakup.

Welcome your good vibes back into your energy field by saying, “I command that any positivity I have lost be returned to me now.” Let that recharged positivity sink into your skin, your eyes, your forehead, your hair, and wash over you like a waterfall.

Wipe your tears, you just did a soul retrieval—which means you just got the best parts of yourself back from anyone who has knowingly or unknowingly held onto them. 

Keep shaking it off, I promise you will feel good.